Week 7 in the NFL

Every Friday, Alex and Chris pick the weekend's NFL games and offer insight on their differences.

Alex: Week 7 starts off with SD and BUF. You've got SD. Looking at it on paper, I agree with you, I think. But, Buffalo is just Buffalo at home, you know?

Chris: I think it's momentum and mojo. SD is hot and they'll ride that wave.

Alex: They've got some grit and luck, I feel.

Chris: Small town values.

Alex: Exactly. But, we'll see. I'm a fencerider here.

Alex: Right next door, CAR and NO, You took CAR. This is another close one. New Orleans, I feel, can just put up more points.

Chris: I think Carolina is yo-yo enough to either tank today or show up big. They have a decent defense and I love me some defense. My question is if they can hold Bush to 2 return TDs.

Alex: Who knows. Bush is very yo-yo as well. It's yo-yo matchup.

Alex: Baltimore and Miami.....Baltimore C-bass? I learned after last week.

Chris: Flacco and the Ravens rebound here. And by now I figure teams will be ready for the daunted Wildcat offense. They might not completely shut it down, but I think they're familiar now.
Alex: Yeah. Ray Ray will murder someone if they go big with the 'cat.

Chris: And then deny any involvement.

Alex: Yeah. Of course.

Alex: This one...I might regret....NYG and SF. I'm taking the HUGE underdog— SF... I figure Martz is good for one big upset a year, and I'd rather it not be us.

Chris: Yeah, I'm banking on Eli getting his head straight. For the picks, I hope he pulls it out. But for the season, I hope our old Eli is back.

Alex: It sure looked it on Monday night.

Chris: I've grown tired of this unstoppable Eli from the past few months

Alex: Question: isn't it interesting that he has his worst games when his big stars come back? And his best when they aren't present?

Chris: Why is that? Does no one respect him but the scrubs?

Alex: Think about it, he just got better and better the less he had. Tiki goes, they get better. Shockey goes, Super Bowl. Plax goes for a game, they score 44. I don't know what the reason is... it's interesting, though.

Chris: Very interesting

Alex: And the final difference....Washington and Cleveland. I got Cleveland. This is another tough one.

Chris: I think Cleveland got lucky, and the Rams got lucky last week.

Alex: And by the way, I'm glad we got Cleveland out of the way.

Chris: Yes, and in grand fashion.

Alex: Well, see, here's the thing with Cleveland. They looked awful when we played 'em. But it seemed like they get some guys back and boom. So, jury's out, I think.

Chris: It's the 1950s all over again. I think I'll take the Redskins based on embarrassment after losing to a winless Rams squad. But I won't be too upset if i miss on the pick.

Alex: Yeah. I'd like to see Zorn tank, too.

Chris: And in closing, the Roethlis-ratings. Give me Roethlis-doublecheeseburger this week against the Bengals. A little extra, but still economical. Gets the job done without too much fanciness.

Alex: Against the Bengals? Man... Roethlis-... Roethlis... Roethlis-rack of ribs. He's HUGE against the Bengals.

Chris: And the rest of our picks this week:

Chicago over Minnesota
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Tennessee over Kansas City
Dallas over St. Louis
Houston over Detroit
Indianapolis over Green Bay
New York Jets over Oakland
Tampa Bay over Seattle
Denver over New England

Season records to this week
Alex: 54-34
Chris: 54-34

Week 6 in the NFL

Every Friday, Alex and Chris pick the weekend's NFL games and offer insight on their differences.

Alex: Picks this week...

Alex: You picked Chi-town, I picked ATL.

Chris: I think Chicago is just further along as a team, and they have some confidence on their side.

Alex: I think this game depends on Devin Hester. If he scores, then the Bears win. But, he has not been consistant this year. I haven't seen many Hester-lights. And, you know, I just like the Falcons. This Matt Ryan kid caught my eye. And lookout for John Abraham. He's having a year.

Chris: I think defense might make things hard for Matt Ryan, so I'll just bank on that and cross the fingers.

Alex: Picking Indy this week, huh? Learned your lesson (though apparently I haven't)?

Chris: [laughs] yeah I think Indianapolis just needed a few more pre-season games before getting started this year.

Alex: Boy, you know, I'm starting to rethink picking both rookie QBs.... Oh well, I'm playing on the wild side.

Chris: Eh, it's a long season.

Alex: Cincy over NYJ for you, C-Bass? Or, rather, NYB?

Chris: Ah, the NY Bretts. I think there is just too much NFL talent on the Bengals. I think Cincinnati is just plain due. Even on the road. Even against the Bretts.

Alex: Well, we'll have to look at that, because if Brett has a bad day, that means Romo will turn into Jesus this week. I hope you're right.

Alex: Next, you pick TB, I pick CAR. I figure this one can go either way. I really just closed my eyes and pointed.

Chris: I flipped a Keyshawn Johnson. It landed on "106 catches, 1200 yards and 1 TD."

Alex: And that leads you to TB? Explain. I'm not quite getting it.

Chris: Well, I had a Keyshawn Johnson, and on one side was his Tampa years, and on the other was the Carolina year. So it could either land on "106 catches, 1200 yards and 1 TD," summing up a statistical wonder of a season in 2001 with TB, or "waste of time," the one year he had with Carolina.

Alex: Did he really only have 1 TD that season? What a wierd stat-line.

Chris: I think you really have to try to do that.

Alex: Our final difference, and the potential fight of the week, NE for you, SD for me.

Chris: You can hate NE all you want, but they're still decent, and in my book, consistency makes the difference here. NE is just too consistent compared to SD right now. Besides, you give NE a week to study and they win. Except that one Super Bowl.

Alex: You mean "study" right?

Chris: Right, my quote button was jammed.

Alex: Well, for me this is another one that can go either way. I mean, they're the Belicheats for a reason. And I have to be careful 'cause no one respects them. On the other side, LT and Philip Rivers are PISSED. They play well angry. SO....I'm going for the more experienced QB here.

Chris: Ouch.

Alex: Cassel, I don't think he gets the rivalry.

Chris: Who needs experience when you back up two Heisman QBs in college?

Alex: Right. My fault. I forgot that you don't need to actually be and NFL caliber quarterback in order to cheat.

Chris: Nope. Cheating takes care of the intangibles and other stuff. Like talent. Or ability.

Alex: Talent is now an intangible?

Chris: Who needs it? You've got Ernie Adams and 31 NFL playbooks.

Alex: Well, and Rodney Dangerfield on your side. I guess that's a recipe for sucess.

Alex: So, final score for the Dallas game this week?

Chris: Hmm... Dallas... 29, Arizona 24. Expect complaints for allowing 24 points and not scoring 124 points.

Alex: I'm thinking shootout. I'm tempted to say someone drops a 50-burger. But....I think I'm going 38-31, Dallas.

Chris: Safe. Healthy offense. No Pacman fallout?

Alex: If Pacman doesn't get Roger Goodell'd, I think he might take one to the house this week. He's due. He's dropped too many picks. His rust is coming off—

Chris: —Slowly

Alex: —I'm just saying we're ready for a breakout week.

Chris: I certainly hope so, and I know the city of Dallas is ready for a breakout.

Alex: Oh yes. We're in the habit of nay-saying at the moment. It's almost like Campo is back, so it's second nature.

Chris: I prefer Dallas to be the underdog, but a close underdog, just to give them a carrot.

Alex: Yeah.

Alex: Roethlis-prediction, by the way? (I realize it's a bye week for him, but it needs to be done)

Chris: Roethlis- fish, since it's a meatless week off.

Alex: I think I might go Roethlis-Ruby Tuesday. Because that's where he'll be taking his O-line to beef up.

Chris: [laughs] Buffet? Trough?

Alex: Oh, trough. Buffets are too civilized for the Steel City.

Chris: Blue collar, damn it. And in closing, the rest of our predictions:

Miami over Houston
Minnesota over Detroit
New Orleans over Oakland
Washington over St. Louis
Denver over Jacksonville
Dallas over Arizona
Philadelphia over San Francisco
Green Bay over Seattle
New York Giants over Cleveland

Season records to this week
Alex: 46-28
Chris: 47-27

Week 5 in the NFL

Every Friday, Alex and Chris pick the weekend's NFL games and offer insight on their differences.

Alex: First difference, you picked Houston over Indy, and I picked Indy. Houston is the home team, however, starting their first of 4 straight home games on account of Ike. Why Houston?

Chris: I think Houston is starting to come together after playing tough competition on the road (Pittsburgh, Tennessee), and almost getting away with one at Jacksonville. I don't think Indianapolis is the same Colts team of the decade + they've been too inconsistent.

Alex: At the same time, they're bound to pull it together sometime. I realize Houston has the emotion on their side with their own mini-Katrina. But, at the same time, they're still playing without star corner Dunta Robinson. And our good pal Jacques Reeves is starting—

Chris: —Jacques "Big time money" Reeves

Alex: —that alone leads me to pick Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison et. al. against the Texans defense. Indy 31, Houston 28.

Chris: Houston 24, Indy 20.

Alex: Moving on... our second difference, you have Philly at home over Washington, and I disagree. Subquestion: Would Barbie Carpenter have made a difference in the outcome of last weeks game, had he played?

Chris: I give Philly some homefield advantage and I think as a team, they're stronger and have slightly more experience than the Redskins. I think Washington deserved their win over Dallas last week— but the whole week, this young team has been told they're giant killers and among the league's best. I think last week may have been their Super Bowl (for the time being), and this week they get a let-down. Also, DeSean Jackson negates a sure touchdown by Deion-highstepping, off-balance, out of bounds at the 2 by mistake.

Chris: I think Barbie is an unknown talent at the RB spot, plus Dallas hasn't used him enough (or at all) in a double reverse situation. He's played big time football before. He might be able to surprise a few folks.

Alex: Haha, that long blonde hair works as a major distraction. For me, I think Philly is automatically in the bottom of the division when they are playing without Brian Westbrook, and to my knowledge, he's not going to play. The Redskins don't have a single position of greatness, but every position is solid. And that's enough here. And I absolutely give the edge to Jason Campbell over Kyle Orton, who they lost to last week.

Alex: As for Barbie, I think we're missing potential as a run stopping safety. He makes sure tackles, like Roy used to, and with Keith "Can't Kill Me" Davis not forced to start, it's something to dry.

Chris: I contend Philadelphia is a rougher crowd than Irving. Especially drunk, angry Philly.

Alex: And you know, I say if more than 3 fans get arrested in Philly on Sunday, you're right, Philly wins.

Chris: Total number of zip-lock bags filled with urine hurled at Washington fans? I say 4.

Alex: I think it's a direct relationship to the score— 1 bag of urine for every 3 points.

Chris: [laughs]

Alex: Plus 1 aimed at the kicker.

Chris: I hope Washington gets to wear the red jerseys, for their own sake.

Alex: So, final predictions for this game?

Chris: 27-24, Philly.

Alex: I say Washington, 10 bags of Urine, Philly 28.

Chris: Then give me Philly 27, Washington, 8 bags of urine.

Alex: So this week, our final disagreement is on the The Pittsburgh Ketchups versus the Jacksonville Mindless Shooting Victims.

Chris: Too soon.

Alex: You went for tomato-y goodness, and I erred on the side of emotion.

Chris: I think Roethlisberger and the offense leave plenty to be desired, but they'll slowly start to get it, and their defense should put them in a position to win against the NFL's 23rd best offense. But I'll award Jacksonville a ten-point bonus if Jack Del Rio wears a suit-- his apparel might mean the difference.

Alex: My vote for Jacksonville rides on 3 things:
1) I love Maurice Jone-Drew.
2) Richard Collier, this team is high on emotion.
3) The suit.

Alex: Subquestion 2: Roethlis-rating this week?

Chris: I'll say Roethlis-smoked turkey. Won't kill you, but it's not Filet Mignon.

Alex: I think I'm going to say Roethli-Carne Asada— tasty on the first bite, but at the end, it comes out in a bad way.

Chris: Oh, dear. Heinz 18, Jacksonville 14

Alex: I think low scoring this week, Jacksonville 12, Pittsburgers, 6.

Alex: Alright, so to sum up the rest, we agreed on:
Tennessee over Baltimore
Carolina over KC
Chicago over the Millens
Green Bay over Atlanta
San Diego over Bill Parcells
NYG over Seattle
Denver over Tampa Bay,
Arizona in an upset over the Perennial 2nd placers
Dallas over the Bengals
New England over San Francisco
and New Orleans over Adrian Peterson.

Chris: Minnesota loses the mental edge when they travel on a sex-gambling riverboat down the Mighty Mississipp' to New Orleans.

Alex: And thank God we don't have a sex boat, I don't even want to think about Marco Rivera and Bobby Carpenter going down the Mississippi. It's like a horrible Lewis and Clark.

Season records to this week
Alex: 36-24
Chris: 38-22