Head to head
Correct picks, Alex
Correct picks, Chris
Records this week
Alex: 8-8
Chris: 10-6
Overall records
Alex: 104-71-1
Chris: 111-64-1
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Week 12 Postmortem
Ordinarily, we would go into more detail on the past week, but because of the holiday season (re: food), we're going to keep it simple.
Head to head
Correct picks, Alex
Correct picks, Chris
Records this week
Alex: 8-8
Chris: 10-6
Overall records
Alex: 104-71-1
Chris: 111-64-1
Head to head
Correct picks, Alex
Correct picks, Chris
Records this week
Alex: 8-8
Chris: 10-6
Overall records
Alex: 104-71-1
Chris: 111-64-1
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Barbie Watch, Week 12
Every week, Alex and Chris (out of town today) bring you the sideline antics of America's favorite draft bust, Bobby Carpenter. This week, the watch begins roughly at 12:00 CST. All locations Dallas unless otherwise stated.
11:40 am - The Cowboys are wearing throwback unis today in honor of the classic holiday season. Bobby came out in his Blues from last week. After running out of the tunnel and realizing he was in the wrong uniform, he noticed a certain other white LB chuckling to himself. "It's gonna be a good day," Bobby thinks to himself, as he schemes his way back into the locker room to change.
12:08 pm - Bobby was in on the FG block team, after rushing in 10 minutes late because of a uniform mishap. Zach Thomas is noticed, still giggling.
12:15 pm - A bad punt by Sam "Bam" Paulescu. Bobby, noticing that A) he should have been on the field, B) Zach was watching him pour ice-cold water into his helmet, and C) he could've kicked the ball better than Sam, quickly seized his opportunity to talk to Special Teams coach Bruce Reed and audition for 3rd-string punter.
12:26 pm - Bobby in again on FG block. He moped on to the field after his laser-- pointed in the eyes of Anthony Henry-- drew a clear pass interference penalty. Unfortunately Zach, who found Bobby's keyring of devices (entirely laser pointers), shined them all into the eyes of the referees. TD denied.
12:34 pm - Bobby Carpenter in on the tackle on special teams. As a juvenile joke, he's been drinking Gatorade as much as possible, so he can pee on the next guy he tackles.
No information on whether Zach is planning to punch him in the gut or not.
12:39 pm -Bobby in again on the FG block. Stood there, unable to move with a full bladder.
12:49 pm - When Zach finally figured out why Bobby was limping along the sideline, he duct-taped him to the bench. Bobby was recently spotted by Pam Oliver, soaked in his own tears and urine. The coaches ignore Bobby, citing this as "a common occurance"
12:54 pm - With that blocked punt by Carlos Polk, the entire team turns to Bobby, who, still duct taped to the bench says, "What? *sniff sniff* I coulda done that with my eyes closed"
Zach, who now feels bad, unties him. Then gives him a manly punch-to-the-gut. Just to let Bobby know it isn't over.
1:02 pm - Bobby, I believe, was in on that last punt formation. It's hard to tell, as he was swatting at something in the air, with his eyes closed. Chances are the rest of the defense was let in on the laser keyring.
1:12 pm - It's clear that, on that last kickoff, Bobby switched jerseys with Nick Folk, as the kickoff goes out of bounds at the 20. Let it be noted that Bobby is forcing himself into tryouts for other positions now.
1:19 pm - With the exception of Terrell Owens, the offense is anemic. This blogger has to wonder what is going on, as Bobby can't trade jerseys with everyone.
1:23 pm - Zach Thomas returns a fumble for a touchdown, but is incorrectly ruled down by contact by a phantom whistle. That phantom was Bobby. Zach is not happy. Stay tuned.
1:28 pm - I'm considering starting a Greg Manusky watch. Did anyone else see that BEAUTIFUL Bobby-esque mustache on that guy?
1:34 pm - After that huge smack by Bradie James, the team celebrated into the locker room. Bobby, watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy on his new iPhone, realized everyone was gone, and leapt up to join the team in the locker room, only to trip over his shoes, tied together, with a note reading, "Blow that whistle again, see what happens."
1:53 pm - Flozell false starts as a shout out to his girl back home, but it is reversed by a neutral zone infraction on the defense. Flo is not happy.
1:55 pm - Flozell False starts as a shout out to his girl back home. This time for real.
1:58 pm - Bobby is not seen on the kickoff coverage, and it can be assumed that Carlos Polk is taking his place after the blocked punt earlier in the game. Message to Bobby from the writer - GROW BACK THE 'STACHE. It's good luck. And it's more intimidating.
2:14 pm - Bobby is up to his laser pointer antics again, this time his victim is Tashard Choice. Zach Thomas, after the play, shoots Bobby a menacing look as he runs onto the field.
2:18 pm - Zach gave his best motivational speech of the year, "Intercept this pass, and we tape Bobby to the showers after the game."
Bobby is seen hiding in the stands near a large blonde woman. Confused, Zach punches them both.
2:33 pm - With the game more or less over, the defense, led by Zach, are seen getting together rope, duct tape, and placing bars of soap in socks, all the while the backups are told to stare menacingly at Bobby until he cries. This takes approximately 2:47 mins.
2:52 pm - Bobby, now standing on the sidelines right next to Wade in hopes he'll get some protection, repeats everything Wade says to motivate the defense. Wade grows annoyed, and wonders where his son Wes is. This is what quality control is for.
3:02 pm - Bobby makes his first appearance on TV on the game, on the kickoff coverage. Funny how we only see him when something bad happens...
3:20 pm - And that's the game, ladies an gentlemen. Tune in next time.
11:40 am - The Cowboys are wearing throwback unis today in honor of the classic holiday season. Bobby came out in his Blues from last week. After running out of the tunnel and realizing he was in the wrong uniform, he noticed a certain other white LB chuckling to himself. "It's gonna be a good day," Bobby thinks to himself, as he schemes his way back into the locker room to change.
12:08 pm - Bobby was in on the FG block team, after rushing in 10 minutes late because of a uniform mishap. Zach Thomas is noticed, still giggling.
12:15 pm - A bad punt by Sam "Bam" Paulescu. Bobby, noticing that A) he should have been on the field, B) Zach was watching him pour ice-cold water into his helmet, and C) he could've kicked the ball better than Sam, quickly seized his opportunity to talk to Special Teams coach Bruce Reed and audition for 3rd-string punter.
12:26 pm - Bobby in again on FG block. He moped on to the field after his laser-- pointed in the eyes of Anthony Henry-- drew a clear pass interference penalty. Unfortunately Zach, who found Bobby's keyring of devices (entirely laser pointers), shined them all into the eyes of the referees. TD denied.
12:34 pm - Bobby Carpenter in on the tackle on special teams. As a juvenile joke, he's been drinking Gatorade as much as possible, so he can pee on the next guy he tackles.
No information on whether Zach is planning to punch him in the gut or not.
12:39 pm -Bobby in again on the FG block. Stood there, unable to move with a full bladder.
12:49 pm - When Zach finally figured out why Bobby was limping along the sideline, he duct-taped him to the bench. Bobby was recently spotted by Pam Oliver, soaked in his own tears and urine. The coaches ignore Bobby, citing this as "a common occurance"
12:54 pm - With that blocked punt by Carlos Polk, the entire team turns to Bobby, who, still duct taped to the bench says, "What? *sniff sniff* I coulda done that with my eyes closed"
Zach, who now feels bad, unties him. Then gives him a manly punch-to-the-gut. Just to let Bobby know it isn't over.
1:02 pm - Bobby, I believe, was in on that last punt formation. It's hard to tell, as he was swatting at something in the air, with his eyes closed. Chances are the rest of the defense was let in on the laser keyring.
1:12 pm - It's clear that, on that last kickoff, Bobby switched jerseys with Nick Folk, as the kickoff goes out of bounds at the 20. Let it be noted that Bobby is forcing himself into tryouts for other positions now.
1:19 pm - With the exception of Terrell Owens, the offense is anemic. This blogger has to wonder what is going on, as Bobby can't trade jerseys with everyone.
1:23 pm - Zach Thomas returns a fumble for a touchdown, but is incorrectly ruled down by contact by a phantom whistle. That phantom was Bobby. Zach is not happy. Stay tuned.
1:28 pm - I'm considering starting a Greg Manusky watch. Did anyone else see that BEAUTIFUL Bobby-esque mustache on that guy?
1:34 pm - After that huge smack by Bradie James, the team celebrated into the locker room. Bobby, watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy on his new iPhone, realized everyone was gone, and leapt up to join the team in the locker room, only to trip over his shoes, tied together, with a note reading, "Blow that whistle again, see what happens."
1:53 pm - Flozell false starts as a shout out to his girl back home, but it is reversed by a neutral zone infraction on the defense. Flo is not happy.
1:55 pm - Flozell False starts as a shout out to his girl back home. This time for real.
1:58 pm - Bobby is not seen on the kickoff coverage, and it can be assumed that Carlos Polk is taking his place after the blocked punt earlier in the game. Message to Bobby from the writer - GROW BACK THE 'STACHE. It's good luck. And it's more intimidating.
2:14 pm - Bobby is up to his laser pointer antics again, this time his victim is Tashard Choice. Zach Thomas, after the play, shoots Bobby a menacing look as he runs onto the field.
2:18 pm - Zach gave his best motivational speech of the year, "Intercept this pass, and we tape Bobby to the showers after the game."
Bobby is seen hiding in the stands near a large blonde woman. Confused, Zach punches them both.
2:33 pm - With the game more or less over, the defense, led by Zach, are seen getting together rope, duct tape, and placing bars of soap in socks, all the while the backups are told to stare menacingly at Bobby until he cries. This takes approximately 2:47 mins.
2:52 pm - Bobby, now standing on the sidelines right next to Wade in hopes he'll get some protection, repeats everything Wade says to motivate the defense. Wade grows annoyed, and wonders where his son Wes is. This is what quality control is for.
3:02 pm - Bobby makes his first appearance on TV on the game, on the kickoff coverage. Funny how we only see him when something bad happens...
3:20 pm - And that's the game, ladies an gentlemen. Tune in next time.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Week 12 in the NFL
Alex and Chris pick the weekend's NFL games and offer insight on their differences.
Alex: Considering Pitt won last night, do you want to start with his rating for this week?
Chris: I know no details of the game, just that they won. And we both had Pit.
Alex: Against a lowly Bengals team, where talent seems endangered. Which is why I'm going Roethlis-poacher.
Chris: Hahaha, I'll go.. Roethlis-helicopter-hunter.
Alex: Hahaha. A quick note before we get on to the differences... We both picked Flacco this week. Maybe we break the trend, or you're just falling in line. Who knows. Or maybe it's like dividing by 0.
Chris: I wonder if we've ever both picked Bal?
Alex: Should I run through the weeks?
Chris: Sure.
Alex: Funny. We did once. In week 2. When the game was postponed by Ike. And then, when the game came back on, one of us changed the pick. And I changed my pick to Houston.
Chris: Crazy. Natural disaster heading to the east coast?
Alex: Possible.
Chris: What if Joe Flacco knew you were going to change to Houston, and since then, he's been playing to spite you?
Alex: He must be. And honestly, going through the books, I am 0-10 for Baltimore games this year. How does that happen?
Chris: Wow, that's amazing. I think at the end of the year, we can look at team by team records based on our picks, see who hates us and who loves us.
Alex: It's a good final issue.
Alex: Ok, onto the first difference. You have the Lowly Lions, and I have the Bucs. I will give you this, the Bucs have a tendancy to play to a team's level.
Chris: This is based solely on hope, and help, because this would be great for the Cowboys.
Alex: You know, Detroit hasn't won yet, which is why I'm not picked them. But remember— Brad Johnson beat the Bucs. So...it's definetly possible.
Chris: True. Hopefully Detroit has some secrets on defense.
Alex: Next, You have Buffalo, I have KC. I'm sorry, but my faith in Trent Edwards is completely gone after Monday night. Thats was a horrible performance.
Chris: Yeah, it was. But this time I think he's taken his practice against a better team in Cleveland and he'll hand off like no other against KC. Maybe mix in a pass
Alex: Haha. I just like scrappy KC. They deserve a game. And if Herm Edwards could coach, they'd be a decent .500 team next year.
Chris: Yeah.
Alex: Next, you have ATL and i have CAR. This one will be close.
Chris: Yeah, and it really could go either way with those running games, but I put more stock in Matt Ryan this week at home.
Alex: You know, that's a good point. But it seems to me Carolina is having a bit of a dream season. Plus, they're the division leaders. A loss for ATL only helps us.
Chris: Very quietly having a dream season, in fact. And true, I guess I want the division leaders to start running away with it. So my heart wants Car, but my head says Atl, in the Michael Vick - Rae Carruth Bowl.
Alex: Hahahahaha. Wonderful.
Alex: Ok, last difference. You take NYG, and I have ARI in an upset. I think Kurt Warner wants revenge.
Chris: I would love that, but again, I just think NYG are on too much of a roll. But this is the exact game where the Giants screw up— see Cleveland and almost Bengals.
Alex: Yeah. And Arizona, while still Arizona, is a good team this year. It's primed and ready to go.
Chris: It would be great to avenge the 199...8? playoff loss to Arizona with a Dallas win over them this year.
Alex: For the finale, Bobby Carpenter is returning from a groin injury this week, after having Chris Martin from Coldplay sing directly into it.
Chris: hahahah
Alex: So, what is his overall effect this week?
Chris: He'll probably make a great tackle in the 3rd quarter in a game no one else will be watching.
Alex: Haha. I'd love to see him knock a guy out cold. And then have the play negated by a penalty.
Chris: Assign Bobby to only hit players of SF who step on our star, even if they were just running by on a kickoff.
Alex: Haha. He's the designated George Teague this week.
Other picks this week
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Baltimore over Philadelphia
Cleveland over Houston
Chicago over St. Louis
Tennessee over New York Jets
Miami over New England
Minnesota over Jacksonville
Dallas over San Francisco
Denver over Oakland
Washington over Seattle
Indianapolis over San Diego
Green Bay over New Orleans
Overall records
Alex: 96-63-1
Chris: 101-58-1
Alex: Considering Pitt won last night, do you want to start with his rating for this week?
(note: all picks are made before kickoff & before posts)
Chris: I know no details of the game, just that they won. And we both had Pit.
Alex: Against a lowly Bengals team, where talent seems endangered. Which is why I'm going Roethlis-poacher.
Chris: Hahaha, I'll go.. Roethlis-helicopter-hunter.
Alex: Hahaha. A quick note before we get on to the differences... We both picked Flacco this week. Maybe we break the trend, or you're just falling in line. Who knows. Or maybe it's like dividing by 0.
Chris: I wonder if we've ever both picked Bal?
Alex: Should I run through the weeks?
Chris: Sure.
Alex: Funny. We did once. In week 2. When the game was postponed by Ike. And then, when the game came back on, one of us changed the pick. And I changed my pick to Houston.
Chris: Crazy. Natural disaster heading to the east coast?
Alex: Possible.
Chris: What if Joe Flacco knew you were going to change to Houston, and since then, he's been playing to spite you?
Alex: He must be. And honestly, going through the books, I am 0-10 for Baltimore games this year. How does that happen?
Chris: Wow, that's amazing. I think at the end of the year, we can look at team by team records based on our picks, see who hates us and who loves us.
Alex: It's a good final issue.
Alex: Ok, onto the first difference. You have the Lowly Lions, and I have the Bucs. I will give you this, the Bucs have a tendancy to play to a team's level.
Chris: This is based solely on hope, and help, because this would be great for the Cowboys.
Alex: You know, Detroit hasn't won yet, which is why I'm not picked them. But remember— Brad Johnson beat the Bucs. So...it's definetly possible.
Chris: True. Hopefully Detroit has some secrets on defense.
Alex: Next, You have Buffalo, I have KC. I'm sorry, but my faith in Trent Edwards is completely gone after Monday night. Thats was a horrible performance.
Chris: Yeah, it was. But this time I think he's taken his practice against a better team in Cleveland and he'll hand off like no other against KC. Maybe mix in a pass
Alex: Haha. I just like scrappy KC. They deserve a game. And if Herm Edwards could coach, they'd be a decent .500 team next year.
Chris: Yeah.
Alex: Next, you have ATL and i have CAR. This one will be close.
Chris: Yeah, and it really could go either way with those running games, but I put more stock in Matt Ryan this week at home.
Alex: You know, that's a good point. But it seems to me Carolina is having a bit of a dream season. Plus, they're the division leaders. A loss for ATL only helps us.
Chris: Very quietly having a dream season, in fact. And true, I guess I want the division leaders to start running away with it. So my heart wants Car, but my head says Atl, in the Michael Vick - Rae Carruth Bowl.
Alex: Hahahahaha. Wonderful.
Alex: Ok, last difference. You take NYG, and I have ARI in an upset. I think Kurt Warner wants revenge.
Chris: I would love that, but again, I just think NYG are on too much of a roll. But this is the exact game where the Giants screw up— see Cleveland and almost Bengals.
Alex: Yeah. And Arizona, while still Arizona, is a good team this year. It's primed and ready to go.
Chris: It would be great to avenge the 199...8? playoff loss to Arizona with a Dallas win over them this year.
Alex: For the finale, Bobby Carpenter is returning from a groin injury this week, after having Chris Martin from Coldplay sing directly into it.
Chris: hahahah
Alex: So, what is his overall effect this week?
Chris: He'll probably make a great tackle in the 3rd quarter in a game no one else will be watching.
Alex: Haha. I'd love to see him knock a guy out cold. And then have the play negated by a penalty.
Chris: Assign Bobby to only hit players of SF who step on our star, even if they were just running by on a kickoff.
Alex: Haha. He's the designated George Teague this week.
Other picks this week
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Baltimore over Philadelphia
Cleveland over Houston
Chicago over St. Louis
Tennessee over New York Jets
Miami over New England
Minnesota over Jacksonville
Dallas over San Francisco
Denver over Oakland
Washington over Seattle
Indianapolis over San Diego
Green Bay over New Orleans
Overall records
Alex: 96-63-1
Chris: 101-58-1
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Week 11 Postmortem
A look back at the week, our picks, and our blunders.
Alex: Check this out. Wait for the sponser.
Chris: Are you serious? Is Ty serious?
Alex: Yes. Isn't that great?
Chris: There is too much wrong with that ad... uniform, logo, everything. A van. Men in vans don't equal safety.
Alex: According to Ty Detmer, former Heisman winner, they do. And if you can't trust a great college football player, who can you trust? I mean, Maurice Clarett is like my best friend. Great financial advisor, I might add.
Chris: I routinely keep $25,000 worth of stuff in my car now (I forget if that was the worth of his stolen goods).
Alex: I don't remember. My one lasting image of him is in that orange jumpsuit. And I also remember thinking to myself when the Bronco's drafted him, "See, now the Broncos are going to have another 1000 yard rusher, he was good in college, just had some problems." Man, did I ever eat my words. I feel that's a good holiday opener.
Alex: Moving into last week, our first difference was the now infamous tie game between Cincy and Philly. Given that neither of us won, or really lost, just give me your thoughts on Donovan.
Chris: I just hope the Bengals' lack of an offense there wont end up hurting the Cowboys in the wildcard race. And Donovan needs to learn the NFL rulebook. At least the page on regular season overtime. Now you'll wonder if he intentionally toned it down because he thought maybe there would be a 2OT
Alex: Here's the thing that confuses me. The last tie game was in 2002. Pittsburgh and Atlanta. Donovan was in his prime then. It's not like he wasn't in the league. So, given that that was big news then, I don't understand how he misses it.
Alex: Second difference, You had KC and I had NO. NO is flaky this year, I'm just going off hunches with them.
Chris: Yeah. Sooner or later, KC might just learn how to finish.
Alex: Well, maybe they should talk to Cleveland, 'cause it seems they finally figured it out.
Chris: If you kick enough field goals, one may eventually win the game for you.
Alex: Haha. Bingo.
Alex: Next difference. FUCK Joe Flacco. Bal for me, NYG for you. Gah. I'm officially picking Bal to win the Dallas-Bal game. Just to ensure Dallas wins.
Chris: Good. He doesn't like you. He's going to go against every pick you make of his games.
Alex: I feel like we need a Joe Flacco rule. Whatever I put on paper is the opposite of what I think will actually happen.
Chris: Haha. Sadly that won't get you the win on paper, but it will in your heart.
Alex: That's all that counts. Didn't you see Rudy?
Chris: Sho 'nuff
Alex: Ok, 3rd and final difference in week 11. Chi-Gb. I had GB. Ouch, C-bass.
Chris: Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe GB would collapse. Implode. Because the only way Chicago can win is to benefit from someone else messing up.
Alex: Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong. I have very little faith in GB. But with Orton injured still a little, and Rex just completely incompetent. I have no faith in Chi-town at the moment.
Chris: We need division leaders to start running away with games.
Alex: Roethlis-rating?
Chris: Not world-beating but good enough. Basically the trend of this year.
Alex: Pretty much. Roethlis-tenderized.
Records this week
Alex: 11-4-1
Chris: 9-6-1
Overall records
Alex: 96-63-1
Chris: 101-58-1
Alex: Check this out. Wait for the sponser.
Chris: Are you serious? Is Ty serious?
Alex: Yes. Isn't that great?
Chris: There is too much wrong with that ad... uniform, logo, everything. A van. Men in vans don't equal safety.
Alex: According to Ty Detmer, former Heisman winner, they do. And if you can't trust a great college football player, who can you trust? I mean, Maurice Clarett is like my best friend. Great financial advisor, I might add.
Chris: I routinely keep $25,000 worth of stuff in my car now (I forget if that was the worth of his stolen goods).
Alex: I don't remember. My one lasting image of him is in that orange jumpsuit. And I also remember thinking to myself when the Bronco's drafted him, "See, now the Broncos are going to have another 1000 yard rusher, he was good in college, just had some problems." Man, did I ever eat my words. I feel that's a good holiday opener.
Alex: Moving into last week, our first difference was the now infamous tie game between Cincy and Philly. Given that neither of us won, or really lost, just give me your thoughts on Donovan.
Chris: I just hope the Bengals' lack of an offense there wont end up hurting the Cowboys in the wildcard race. And Donovan needs to learn the NFL rulebook. At least the page on regular season overtime. Now you'll wonder if he intentionally toned it down because he thought maybe there would be a 2OT
Alex: Here's the thing that confuses me. The last tie game was in 2002. Pittsburgh and Atlanta. Donovan was in his prime then. It's not like he wasn't in the league. So, given that that was big news then, I don't understand how he misses it.
Alex: Second difference, You had KC and I had NO. NO is flaky this year, I'm just going off hunches with them.
Chris: Yeah. Sooner or later, KC might just learn how to finish.
Alex: Well, maybe they should talk to Cleveland, 'cause it seems they finally figured it out.
Chris: If you kick enough field goals, one may eventually win the game for you.
Alex: Haha. Bingo.
Alex: Next difference. FUCK Joe Flacco. Bal for me, NYG for you. Gah. I'm officially picking Bal to win the Dallas-Bal game. Just to ensure Dallas wins.
Chris: Good. He doesn't like you. He's going to go against every pick you make of his games.
Alex: I feel like we need a Joe Flacco rule. Whatever I put on paper is the opposite of what I think will actually happen.
Chris: Haha. Sadly that won't get you the win on paper, but it will in your heart.
Alex: That's all that counts. Didn't you see Rudy?
Chris: Sho 'nuff
Alex: Ok, 3rd and final difference in week 11. Chi-Gb. I had GB. Ouch, C-bass.
Chris: Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe GB would collapse. Implode. Because the only way Chicago can win is to benefit from someone else messing up.
Alex: Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong. I have very little faith in GB. But with Orton injured still a little, and Rex just completely incompetent. I have no faith in Chi-town at the moment.
Chris: We need division leaders to start running away with games.
Alex: Roethlis-rating?
Chris: Not world-beating but good enough. Basically the trend of this year.
Alex: Pretty much. Roethlis-tenderized.
Other holiday slip-ups:
Records this week
Alex: 11-4-1
Chris: 9-6-1
Overall records
Alex: 96-63-1
Chris: 101-58-1
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Barbie Watch, Week 11
Every week, Alex and Chris scour the NFL for Bobby Carpenter sightings and log each with time and location. Tonight our focus heads to the nation's capital Landover, Maryland. The game is set to kick-off at 7:15 pm, CT, with or without Bobby Carpenter.
All locationsWashington, D.C., Landover, Maryland unless stated otherwise.
7:01 pm - Will Bobby play? Time will tell... For those scoring at home, Washington is wearing white at home, which means the Cowboys are wearing back luck blue. Disrespect is the highest form of respect.
7:22 pm - Andrea Kramer interviews Romo's pinkie.
7:28 pm - Dallas punts after its first series. Bobby is nowhere to be seen, but rest assured, he would have 1) nailed the tackle, and 2) not grabbed a facemask. For the rest of the night, I think we can assume Bobby is wearing jeans and his Cowboys jersey on the sidelines, high school style. That is, unless Bobby is dropped off via parachute from the Blue Angels.
7:36 pm - Remember the old commercial where a football team is given muscle relaxants before a game, and they all fall over at the line? See the Dallas Defense. It has been noted that Bobby was seen walking out of Wade's office this week, with a bottle of unknown origin, snickering to himself, "If I can't play, then no one can...."
7:42 pm - Flozell Adams commits his 23rd false start since 2007. What no one else knows is false starting is his special way of shouting out to his woman back home. Don't worry— she loves him, too.
7:45 pm - Bobby just did his team a favor, but unknowingly. The coaches, knowing Bobby was upset about not playing, and also knowing he is colorblind, dressed him in Maroon tonight and placed him on the opposite sideline. Bobby called a timeout, trying to throw off Tony Romo's rhythm on offense, to prove how badly the Cowboys need him. It is noted that Bobby is still unsure how the Redskins were awarded the timeout, and why Wade looks so slim, and is more "aw shucks" than usual.
8:10 pm - Bobby's no fool. After the maroon jersey stunt, Bobby saunters over to the Cowboys sideline and waits to exact his revenge. His victim? Terrell Owens. Washington intercepts Romo on another slant pass to TO. What broke his focus? Beams from Bobby's laser pointer/ ballpoint pen keychain, shining directly into TO's eyes. Who says you can't find good stuff in airplane mall catalogs?
8:34 pm - Romo goes up and down the field, spreading out passes to TO, (the good) Roy, Barber, and Witten. TO's key grab takes the Cowboys inside the 5, and also shows TO can hang onto a ball. Anyone can catch a ball when you don't have a laser pointer directed at your eyes. Wade's son, Wesley (in charge of quality control) caught Bobby pointing the laser at Zach Thomas' crotch along the sidelines and took it away. Cowboys score a TD on a Barber run.
8:36 pm - Bobby has found his way up to the booth, and, on a hope that he may play running back, by telling coach Barber's fire is out, he challenges the ruling. Good thing the refs know better.
8:45 pm - The team heads to the locker room for halftime, but Wade tells Bobby he can't come in the room since he's not dressed to play today. "Sorry, Bobby, but you need to be suited up in pads," Wade warns. "Nothing personal, just business." Bobby takes a page from Mike Singletary's playbook and drops his pants as a motivational tool, trying anything he can to prove he should be in that locker room. Unfortunately, Wade shut the door while Bobby was working on his button-fly. So Bobby returns to the sideline to plan revenge. And he waits.
9:07 pm - With that interception, Bobby is seen sulking on the sidelines, as he can't tell anyone on the punt or fg try that he could've made the block to change the game, if he were in of course.
9:10 pm - Wesley Phillips, not really doing anything, takes out Bobby's laser pointer and can't figure out how to work it. So he calls Bobby over and asks him to show him the ropes. Bobby says, "Okay, I'll show you... only if I can hold it to show you." Wesley hands it over. And Bobby sprints away, snickering. First thing Bobby does? Shines it at TO, who drops a pass.
9:20 pm - Bobby, aiming for the linebacker playing his position on the FG block, gets pushed by Zach while he's on the way off the field. The laser pointer goes directly into Suisham's eyes, forcing the FG miss. Bobby is seen pacing back and forth, cursing the acme laser company.
9:52 pm - Terrance Newman breaks up a key fourth down attempt by Washington and runs down the sideline, arms out, airplane style. Bobby, thinking this was some unpatriotic shout-out to Europe in our nation's capital, runs up to Terrance on the sideline and shoves him as hard as he can in the chest, screaming "NO! It's called SOCCER! I won't let you spread the wealth!" Cowboys medical staff notifies the team psychologist.
10:07 pm - Marion Barber converts the fourth down ... and Bobby Carpenter's heart grew three sizes that play. The Cowboys win tonight!
10:08 pm - Zach Thomas walks by, grinning for no reason. "Hey rookie, thanks for winning the game tonight. You were so important to the victory. You really should be a captain," Thomas adds. "I'm just glad to be here, Mr. Thomas," Bobby chimes, returning Zach's sarcasm. "Here's a Gatorade. You deserve it." Zach takes a deep swig, until he remembers what happened last time Bobby was in charge of refreshments. He spits it out and looks around for "that little pranking sum'bitch." But Bobby is nowhere to be seen... Batman? No. NBC is doing post-game interviews and Bobby needs facetime.
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7:01 pm - Will Bobby play? Time will tell... For those scoring at home, Washington is wearing white at home, which means the Cowboys are wearing back luck blue. Disrespect is the highest form of respect.
7:22 pm - Andrea Kramer interviews Romo's pinkie.
7:28 pm - Dallas punts after its first series. Bobby is nowhere to be seen, but rest assured, he would have 1) nailed the tackle, and 2) not grabbed a facemask. For the rest of the night, I think we can assume Bobby is wearing jeans and his Cowboys jersey on the sidelines, high school style. That is, unless Bobby is dropped off via parachute from the Blue Angels.
7:36 pm - Remember the old commercial where a football team is given muscle relaxants before a game, and they all fall over at the line? See the Dallas Defense. It has been noted that Bobby was seen walking out of Wade's office this week, with a bottle of unknown origin, snickering to himself, "If I can't play, then no one can...."
7:42 pm - Flozell Adams commits his 23rd false start since 2007. What no one else knows is false starting is his special way of shouting out to his woman back home. Don't worry— she loves him, too.
7:45 pm - Bobby just did his team a favor, but unknowingly. The coaches, knowing Bobby was upset about not playing, and also knowing he is colorblind, dressed him in Maroon tonight and placed him on the opposite sideline. Bobby called a timeout, trying to throw off Tony Romo's rhythm on offense, to prove how badly the Cowboys need him. It is noted that Bobby is still unsure how the Redskins were awarded the timeout, and why Wade looks so slim, and is more "aw shucks" than usual.
8:10 pm - Bobby's no fool. After the maroon jersey stunt, Bobby saunters over to the Cowboys sideline and waits to exact his revenge. His victim? Terrell Owens. Washington intercepts Romo on another slant pass to TO. What broke his focus? Beams from Bobby's laser pointer/ ballpoint pen keychain, shining directly into TO's eyes. Who says you can't find good stuff in airplane mall catalogs?
8:34 pm - Romo goes up and down the field, spreading out passes to TO, (the good) Roy, Barber, and Witten. TO's key grab takes the Cowboys inside the 5, and also shows TO can hang onto a ball. Anyone can catch a ball when you don't have a laser pointer directed at your eyes. Wade's son, Wesley (in charge of quality control) caught Bobby pointing the laser at Zach Thomas' crotch along the sidelines and took it away. Cowboys score a TD on a Barber run.
8:36 pm - Bobby has found his way up to the booth, and, on a hope that he may play running back, by telling coach Barber's fire is out, he challenges the ruling. Good thing the refs know better.
8:45 pm - The team heads to the locker room for halftime, but Wade tells Bobby he can't come in the room since he's not dressed to play today. "Sorry, Bobby, but you need to be suited up in pads," Wade warns. "Nothing personal, just business." Bobby takes a page from Mike Singletary's playbook and drops his pants as a motivational tool, trying anything he can to prove he should be in that locker room. Unfortunately, Wade shut the door while Bobby was working on his button-fly. So Bobby returns to the sideline to plan revenge. And he waits.
9:07 pm - With that interception, Bobby is seen sulking on the sidelines, as he can't tell anyone on the punt or fg try that he could've made the block to change the game, if he were in of course.
9:10 pm - Wesley Phillips, not really doing anything, takes out Bobby's laser pointer and can't figure out how to work it. So he calls Bobby over and asks him to show him the ropes. Bobby says, "Okay, I'll show you... only if I can hold it to show you." Wesley hands it over. And Bobby sprints away, snickering. First thing Bobby does? Shines it at TO, who drops a pass.
9:20 pm - Bobby, aiming for the linebacker playing his position on the FG block, gets pushed by Zach while he's on the way off the field. The laser pointer goes directly into Suisham's eyes, forcing the FG miss. Bobby is seen pacing back and forth, cursing the acme laser company.
9:52 pm - Terrance Newman breaks up a key fourth down attempt by Washington and runs down the sideline, arms out, airplane style. Bobby, thinking this was some unpatriotic shout-out to Europe in our nation's capital, runs up to Terrance on the sideline and shoves him as hard as he can in the chest, screaming "NO! It's called SOCCER! I won't let you spread the wealth!" Cowboys medical staff notifies the team psychologist.
10:07 pm - Marion Barber converts the fourth down ... and Bobby Carpenter's heart grew three sizes that play. The Cowboys win tonight!
10:08 pm - Zach Thomas walks by, grinning for no reason. "Hey rookie, thanks for winning the game tonight. You were so important to the victory. You really should be a captain," Thomas adds. "I'm just glad to be here, Mr. Thomas," Bobby chimes, returning Zach's sarcasm. "Here's a Gatorade. You deserve it." Zach takes a deep swig, until he remembers what happened last time Bobby was in charge of refreshments. He spits it out and looks around for "that little pranking sum'bitch." But Bobby is nowhere to be seen... Batman? No. NBC is doing post-game interviews and Bobby needs facetime.
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