Week 6 Bonus: Goodell, Pacman Jones

In this bonus, Alex and Chris discuss timely issues concerning the NFL.

Alex: Have you read the story on Hines Ward?

Chris: Yes sir, Goodell is trying so hard to establish himself as a hardass. Unless it hurts the NFL, he'll come down on it.

Alex: Yeah. I'm willing to be if Goodell does anything to hurt the Cowboys again, Jerry Jones starts disagreeing with him on everything. Regardless if it's right or not. And I'm not joking. Al Davis did it to Pete Rozelle, and got Pete fired.

Chris: Al Davis also used to have a lot of credibility— and he held a grudge with everyone.

Alex: And you don't think Jerry has credibility? Jerry can hold a grudge if you cross him.

Chris: Jerry does, but this would have had more of an effect 10 years ago.

Alex: It just happens to be discriminant. I'm just saying, one more, and Jerry loses it. And people will fall behind him.

Chris: So do you think Pacman was punished unfairly?

Alex: I do. I don't believe he should have been suspended at all.

Chris: I think Jerry had absolutely no intention to punish Pacman and was trying to brush this one under the rug.

Alex: Now, do I think he's a complete angel? No way. But, this was a non-issue. The NFL should not be concerned with anything not involving police. And the league has a record of it.

Chris: Was there a no-alcohol condition in his contract?

Alex: Look at Lawrence Taylor. He WAS KNOWN to have drug problems, and back then, the NFL refused to suspend him 'cause he was such a draw for fans. Bottom line, the NFL is destroying its audience with some of these suspensions, and DEFINTELY the fines. It's no longer football. I don't want to watch 2-hand touch.

Chris: I don't think things have fallen to that extreme yet--- most fans don't know about some of the fines unless it's happened to their team.

Alex: It'll get there, trust me.

Chris: And going back to Pac, did he have any condition about avoiding alcohol in his contract?

Alex: Not the Cowboys contract. But according to Goodell, it was a stipulation of his reinstatment. But really, who knows?

Chris: So was there any agreement made in which Jones said he would avoid alcohol?

Alex:I think it was "I'll avoid public alcohol." Jerry seemed fine with Pac drinking by himself or with a few friends.

Chris: Second, would you be as concerned with Pac and his suspension if he were playing for, say, the Eagles?

Alex: I'd enjoy it. I still wouldn't think it was fair. But I'd revel in it. Just like how I thought Donovan McNabb was a crybaby over TO and should have sucked it up. I loved it. But I could define right and wrong.

Chris: In my opinion, he was bound to screw up, and better now than in December when the Cowboys NEED to focus and learn how to win. I say we cut ties with him and move on. He can hang out at Deion's ranch in Prosper in the meantime for all I care.

Alex: I agree. At this point, he's gone-zo.

Week 6 Postmortem

A look back at the week, our picks, and our blunders.

Alex: Ok, off we go, week 6 recap. And the first on the list, Chi-town and ATL. You picked Chi. Tough one, C-Bass.

Chris: And I was 11 seconds away from looking like a genius. The Bears need to learn how to close games.

Alex: Haha. Or how to count to 6.

Chris: And you were right on with faith in Matt Ryan for the game.

Alex: Dude, the kid is good.

Chris: Agreed.

Alex: Next, we both missed on Miami. Ouch-city. Wanna just move on from this one?

Chris: Seconds away again. Sure.

Alex: Yeah, and you killed me with Indy over Baltimore.

Chris: I think the Colts have finally warmed up for the season.

Alex: Maybe. Flacco isn't owning up for me.

Chris: I think they're as good as any team in the AFC now. I'm looking forward to the Indy -Tenn games.

Alex: That will be interesting. Speaking of Tenn, how long until Vince is playing again? Or does he at all this season?

Chris: —As soon as Kerry sucks. I think it's Collins' job to lose.

Alex: So, someone just need to airmail Kerry some Jack and Coke.

Chris: Ouch.

Alex: Too soon? When you think about it, though... both QBs have the same addiction— Kerry:Booze::Vince:Boo's.

Chris: [laughs] Great.

Alex : Second miss for you, C-bass; how on earth could you A. Pick the Bengals B. not pick the Bretts? Lucky for you it was the same game.

Chris: The way I see it, it's hard for an NFL team to lose 16 games in one season. There's just too much talent on rosters for something like that to happen now. I figured the Bengals were going to pull one out and maybe salvage shreds of a season, but forget about it. Plus I didn't know the Jets were going to come out in their undefeated Titans throwbacks.

Alex: Titans are 7-0 this year.

Alex: The final difference we had this week, NE and SD, and you went with Cassel?

Chris: Again, I put too much faith in NE and not enough in Norv Turner and the Chargers.

Alex: You know, I would hassle you more about your picks this past week if I didn't make so many questionable calls this week.

Chris: I think the king is almost officially dead. Unless they get some spark, the Pats' best days have passed them.

Other misses
Alex:

Mutual:

No comment.

Season records after this week
Alex: 54-34
Chris: 54-34

Barbie Watch, Week 6

Every week, Alex and Chris scour the NFL for Bobby Carpenter sightings, and are noted with time and location here, in this blog. This week our focus is in Arizona. The blog will tentatively begin at 3:00 pm CT

3:13 pm, Arizona - Bobby was spotted on the game intro, running onto the field. This could be the most running we see from him all game.

3:15 pm, Arizona - Arizona just returned the opening kickoff for a td, and Bobby missed the first tackle in a string of about 4 or 5. Productivity is already declining.

3:27 pm, Arizona - Bobby was in on the punt, but I think he got tired halfway through running downfield, and decided that Pacman could just run through all the red. His hair is starting to weigh him down.

3:35 pm, Arizona - Bobby arrived late on punt coverage again this time. Maybe it's time to bring back the mustache superpowers, Bob-o. At the very least, you'll look less effeminate.

3:46 pm, Arizona - They punted. Bobby may have been on the field. Who knows?

3:48 pm, Arizona - Bobby finally made the tackle on special teams coverage where he may be the best tackler. You know something is wrong when....

3:50 pm, Arizona - Knowing his on-field appearances will be cut in half today thanks to all the change-of-possession turnovers, Bobby fires up some Karli Whetstone on his iPod.




3:53 pm, Arizona - Bobby was in the endzone on that play with his helmet off, blowing on the ball trying to keep it out of the endzone. It nearly worked. Too bad he forget he's an awful player.

4:01 pm, Arizona - Bobby commits a block in the back penalty on the Cowboys' return, just inches from Pacman Jones. In doing so, Bobby not only had his name mentioned, but he also benefited from about 15 seconds of uninterrupted camera time.


4:10 pm, Arizona - Matt McBriar, apparently jealous of Bobby's facetime on the last special teams play, shanked one, limiting Bobby's facetime, and upping the facetime of the pro-bowl Aussie.

4:30 pm, Arizona - In a battle of facetime for Bobby, Nick Folk kicked a short kickoff in hopes of a Bobby recovery. McBriar almost ran on the field to prevent it.

4:55 pm, Arizona - If Bobby was on kickoff return duty, we didn't see him. Which means someone had a stern talking-to in the locker room at halftime.

5:02 pm, Arizona - Romo burns a timeout as the play-clock nearly expires, probably Gurode's fault again. Bobby walks behind each coach, changes his voice, and says, "Y'know, I hear Bobby knows how to snap the ball," just loud enough to be heard.

5:04 pm, Arizona - Gurode is still in at center.

5:06 pm, Arizona - Romo throws a touchdown and is immediately lifted in the air by Gurode. Bobby realizes he has never been lifted in the air, nor has he lifted another player in the air, and begins to regret his choice of playing position all way back to his Pop Warner days.

5:06:30 pm, Arizona - Bobby tries to pick Zach Thomas up, but Thomas resists and stands next to the wide receivers.

5:10 pm, Arizona - Bobby continues to attempt to sneak his way on the field. Just before Nick could go to kick that ball, Bobby, who had previously slipped a fart machine in Nick's pants, let it loose. The kick went out of bounds.

5:26 pm, Arizona - Bobby's last name and hair was spotted behind an emotionless Wade Phillips after that won challenge. Bobby was asking Wade if, since we won 2 challenges, we get free gorditas from Taco Bell.

5:28 pm, Arizona - Bobby was in on the extra point block. Just stood there. Clearly daydreaming of free tacos.

5:46 pm, Arizona - Again, Bobby, on the PAT block, decides quesadillas are more important.

5:54 pm, Arizona - Bobby races down on the punt and ends up on top of the pile. Dallas Cowboys #27 is called for a block in the back, and Bobby knows he could have done a better job. 54 is twice 27, so he's twice the player. Bobby runs to Wade and demands a change in position on the next special teams play, but is handed a discount coupon for Taco Cabana. It's not Bell, but it'll do.

6:21 pm, Arizona - Bobby blocks for Pacman, but is ineffective. Time to pull out the win. He's lobbying for time at TE.

6:34 pm, Arizona - Wade tells Bobby to be prepared to streak the field from the stands, if necessary, to cause a distraction and stop the game, forcing a re-play of the down. Arizona appears to block the kick, but as it turns out, the Cardinals call timeout before the snap. Bobby waits.

6:36 pm, Arizona - Folk kicks the game-tying field goal. Because of the crowd noise, Bobby doesn't get the signal to abort the plan. Wade runs 20 yards to tackle a determined and nude Bobby to prevent him from racing onto the field before the snap. Folk's kick is good. Overtime.

6:43 pm, Arizona - Punt in OT blocked, touchdown Cardinals, game over. It was Bobby's man that got through for the block, and Bobby was the ineligible man downfield. I could not make this up if I tried. He's the worst 1st round pick. Ever.

Week 6 in the NFL

Every Friday, Alex and Chris pick the weekend's NFL games and offer insight on their differences.

Alex: Picks this week...

Alex: You picked Chi-town, I picked ATL.

Chris: I think Chicago is just further along as a team, and they have some confidence on their side.

Alex: I think this game depends on Devin Hester. If he scores, then the Bears win. But, he has not been consistant this year. I haven't seen many Hester-lights. And, you know, I just like the Falcons. This Matt Ryan kid caught my eye. And lookout for John Abraham. He's having a year.

Chris: I think defense might make things hard for Matt Ryan, so I'll just bank on that and cross the fingers.

Alex: Picking Indy this week, huh? Learned your lesson (though apparently I haven't)?

Chris: [laughs] yeah I think Indianapolis just needed a few more pre-season games before getting started this year.

Alex: Boy, you know, I'm starting to rethink picking both rookie QBs.... Oh well, I'm playing on the wild side.

Chris: Eh, it's a long season.

Alex: Cincy over NYJ for you, C-Bass? Or, rather, NYB?

Chris: Ah, the NY Bretts. I think there is just too much NFL talent on the Bengals. I think Cincinnati is just plain due. Even on the road. Even against the Bretts.

Alex: Well, we'll have to look at that, because if Brett has a bad day, that means Romo will turn into Jesus this week. I hope you're right.

Alex: Next, you pick TB, I pick CAR. I figure this one can go either way. I really just closed my eyes and pointed.

Chris: I flipped a Keyshawn Johnson. It landed on "106 catches, 1200 yards and 1 TD."

Alex: And that leads you to TB? Explain. I'm not quite getting it.

Chris: Well, I had a Keyshawn Johnson, and on one side was his Tampa years, and on the other was the Carolina year. So it could either land on "106 catches, 1200 yards and 1 TD," summing up a statistical wonder of a season in 2001 with TB, or "waste of time," the one year he had with Carolina.

Alex: Did he really only have 1 TD that season? What a wierd stat-line.

Chris: I think you really have to try to do that.

Alex: Our final difference, and the potential fight of the week, NE for you, SD for me.

Chris: You can hate NE all you want, but they're still decent, and in my book, consistency makes the difference here. NE is just too consistent compared to SD right now. Besides, you give NE a week to study and they win. Except that one Super Bowl.

Alex: You mean "study" right?

Chris: Right, my quote button was jammed.

Alex: Well, for me this is another one that can go either way. I mean, they're the Belicheats for a reason. And I have to be careful 'cause no one respects them. On the other side, LT and Philip Rivers are PISSED. They play well angry. SO....I'm going for the more experienced QB here.

Chris: Ouch.

Alex: Cassel, I don't think he gets the rivalry.

Chris: Who needs experience when you back up two Heisman QBs in college?

Alex: Right. My fault. I forgot that you don't need to actually be and NFL caliber quarterback in order to cheat.

Chris: Nope. Cheating takes care of the intangibles and other stuff. Like talent. Or ability.

Alex: Talent is now an intangible?

Chris: Who needs it? You've got Ernie Adams and 31 NFL playbooks.

Alex: Well, and Rodney Dangerfield on your side. I guess that's a recipe for sucess.

Alex: So, final score for the Dallas game this week?

Chris: Hmm... Dallas... 29, Arizona 24. Expect complaints for allowing 24 points and not scoring 124 points.

Alex: I'm thinking shootout. I'm tempted to say someone drops a 50-burger. But....I think I'm going 38-31, Dallas.

Chris: Safe. Healthy offense. No Pacman fallout?

Alex: If Pacman doesn't get Roger Goodell'd, I think he might take one to the house this week. He's due. He's dropped too many picks. His rust is coming off—

Chris: —Slowly

Alex: —I'm just saying we're ready for a breakout week.

Chris: I certainly hope so, and I know the city of Dallas is ready for a breakout.

Alex: Oh yes. We're in the habit of nay-saying at the moment. It's almost like Campo is back, so it's second nature.

Chris: I prefer Dallas to be the underdog, but a close underdog, just to give them a carrot.

Alex: Yeah.

Alex: Roethlis-prediction, by the way? (I realize it's a bye week for him, but it needs to be done)

Chris: Roethlis- fish, since it's a meatless week off.

Alex: I think I might go Roethlis-Ruby Tuesday. Because that's where he'll be taking his O-line to beef up.

Chris: [laughs] Buffet? Trough?

Alex: Oh, trough. Buffets are too civilized for the Steel City.

Chris: Blue collar, damn it. And in closing, the rest of our predictions:

Miami over Houston
Minnesota over Detroit
New Orleans over Oakland
Washington over St. Louis
Denver over Jacksonville
Dallas over Arizona
Philadelphia over San Francisco
Green Bay over Seattle
New York Giants over Cleveland

Season records to this week
Alex: 46-28
Chris: 47-27

Week 5 Postmortem

A look back at the week, our picks, and our blunders.

Alex: So we both whiffed on Green Bay this week. And, you know, the upset didn't totally surprise me. I thought if Rodgers didn't play, they'd lose. Turns out I should have gone with my gut.

Chris: I just expected too much from a team that had paper experience over a team with paper inexperience.

Alex: No kidding. After this week, do you think the Falcons can hold a close game with anyone in the league? Or did the Packers make this biggest mistake ever by trading Favre?

Chris: I think Green Bay will start to legitimately miss Favre for the first time all year. And no, I still think Atlanta is a little bit away--- they're closing in, but I think they need a little more time.

Alex: Matt Ryan is a hell of a rookie. I think he might be Colton Manning in disquise.

Chris: [laughs] He's done a very good job coming out of college, already carrying himself like a veteran. BC had a stud there.

Alex: No kidding.

Alex: Oh, here's something nice... Houston, huh C-bass?

Chris: Um. For the record. All three picks. Were THAT close to turning out my way. Houston proves it can't stand playing with a lead; see the Frank Reich Bills.

Alex: [laughs] I'll give you a mulligan on that.

Alex: We both whiffed on SD. Is Norv Turner starting to pull an Oakland on us here?

Chris: Maybe. I want to know if the refs screwed San Diego out of this one. Or if Jake Delhomme screwed them this week. Because we know it's not the talent or the coach at fault.

Alex: I think Parcells might just be pulling some magic in Miami. And think about it, this is his second team to take over with a pothead, and win.

Chris: I think there's a trend... maybe Bledsoe or Vinny had some shady extracurricular activities we don't know about. And then there was LT...

Alex: Well, LT was addicted to leg-breaking. So, I guess that counts.

Chris: We all have our vices.

Alex: And another whiff, C-bass, on Philly. Do you believe in Zorn now?

Chris: Well... maybe... but... I also believe in the Washington Collapse: start out strong and split the remaining games.

Alex: True, Daniel Snyder is still running this team.

Chris: I think Philly is looking weaker and weaker and realized it had to win last week. And then they let the game slip out of reach. Meanwhile, Washington picks up another road divisional win and gets to visit the candy store with the rest of its schedule.

Alex: Question: Does Brian Westbrook 2008 = Terrell Owens 2004? As long as he's injured, the Eagles are anemic.

Chris: Maybe. It'll be hard to overcome it. And here I thought McNabb was the comeback player of the year... not valuable enough.

Alex: Apparently.

Alex: By the way, I can't believe I didn't side with the Roethlis-Deli last week. JAC dissapointed me.

Chris: No one needed this bye week more than Roethlis-manwich.

Alex: Yeah, and now he's got to go 11 weeks behind that line. I bet he doesn't make it through the Roethlis-season.

Chris: Boy, I don't know... who wins that division? Baltimore?

Alex: That's tough... I can't throw all my eggs in that Flacco-jacket.

Chris: It's not Cincinnati... I don't think Cleveland can afford to kick field goals to a division title.

Alex: Browns? Not a chance. That division is weak all of the sudden.

Chris: Are they the AFC NFCWest?

Alex: Maybe, man.

Alex: And finally, we both whiffed on NO at home. No comment on that one. Reggie did all he could.

Chris: They were just one more Reggie Bush return for a TD away from a win. Blame Hochuli if you want, but I blame New Orleans for pissing away a perfectly decent performance.

Alex: Sidenote- is Antoine Winfield the greatest defensive player in the NFL?

Chris: I think so, and I want to see what he does the rest of the season.

Alex: That's another sidenote, Hochuli is looking a bit shell-shocked still. I hope we don't get him at all this year. He's the new Geriatric Austin.

Chris: I've been hearing complaints and tears from Saints fans about the officiating. I give Hochuli more chances. He's built up credit. And we know how great credit is.

Season records after this week
Alex: 46-28
Chris: 47-27