Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Looking Forward to the 2009 Season, part 3: games 9-12

Chris and I go through the newly released Dallas Cowboys schedule and make ridiculously early game predictions. Part 3 of 4.

Week 10, Nov. 15: Cowboys @ Packers

Alex: Coming off a very tough loss to Philly, the Cowboys are amped up for this one. And to top it off, November is historically Tony Romo's best month. HUGE win here.

Cowboys' record: Head: 7-2, Heart: 9-0

Chris: I think the Cowboys come out on top after an ugly loss, thanks mostly to a genuine desire to save face and talent differential. This, of course, assumes Barbie has become a leader in the linebacking corps.

Cowboys' record: Head: 6-3, Heart: 7-2

Week 11, Nov. 22: Cowboys vs. Redskins

Alex: The first game in the Dallas/Washington series this year, and God only knows where Jason Campbell's head will be at this point in the season, seeing as how Daniel Snyder shopped him to every team in the league, and they all went "Meh." Also, it's still November.

Cowboys' record: Head: 8-2, Heart: 10-0

Chris: The Cowboys really should win this game, but I just think Washington comes out with their hair on fire and something to prove. The game is won on sloppy play in the last five minutes. Washington will treat this game like their Super Bowl and proceed to tank the rest of the season.

Cowboys' record: Head: 6-4, Heart: 8-2

Week 12, Nov, 26 (Thanksgiving): Cowboys vs. Raiders

Alex: THE BATTLE OF THE BUSTS. Get ready for a blowout win, Stephen McGee gets extra playing time, and the live-blogging of the century, right here on

Cowboys' record: Head: 9-2, Heart: 11-0

Chris: I don't think there's any chance of a loss (note: this is late April). Oakland is too much of a disaster. Let this game come as a warning to you, Cowboys front office. Dallas is either playing the future version of their franchise in Oakland, or Oakland is playing their Ghost of Football Past. You know, right before the epic collapse.

Cowboys' record: Head: 7-4, Heart: 9-2

Week 13, Dec. 6: Cowboys @ Giants

Alex: It's December, and a lot of what happens in this game all depends on if Eli Manning can win games without Derrick Ward and Plaxico Buress. That said, I think NY will still be strong, and it's December. Time to break that 3 game streak.

Cowboys' record: Head: 9-3, Heart: 12-0

Chris: Nope. Not happening today. Loss. I'm a big fan of college-Hakeem-Nicks (again, this is April), and I think there's just a whole helluvalot of talent (still April) in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Plus, this game is in December (bad luck) and could very well be moved to a prime-time game.

Cowboys' record: Head: 7-5, Heart: 9-3

Be sure to check back in a few days for part 4!

Post-draft rooming rumors

Sources indicate Dallas' 5th-round draft pick, David Buehler (above), and Bobby Carpenter will be rooming together at training camp.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Looking Forward to the 2009 Season, part 2: games 5-8

Alex and I go through the newly released Dallas Cowboys schedule and make ridiculously early game predictions. Part 2 of 4.

Week 5, Oct. 11: Cowboys @ Dallas Texans (KC Chiefs)

Alex: Not much to say about this game as far as actual football goes. I know, the Chiefs have a new head coach and Matt Cassel, but I just think they were too far down to be a real threat next year. Everyone is comparing them to a potential Dolphins-esque team right now with the rebuilding effort, but they need to remember that Dolphins team was an exception, not the rule. The Cowboys should take this game easy. Really the most interesting part of this game will be watching the Dallas Texans of old play the Dallas Cowboys. The jerseys that day will be a thing of true beauty. Also, instead of studying any gameplan this week, expect Mr. Carpenter to spend all his time trying to find a city of Dallas in Kansas.

Cowboys' record: Head: 5-0, Heart: 5-0

Chris: Hahaha. I'm really looking forward to the uniforms in this game. Oh and I think the Cowboys win. Todd Haley doesn't have fond memories of Dallas. Sure, he beat us in overtime last year, but anyone could. Let's not forget Bill Parcells physically assaulted Todd Haley after Haley thought he'd be cute and jump into a discussion with an official. And Haley's wife found a rat in her McDonald's salad. Bobby ends up psyching Haley out by planting a fake rat in each of Haley's meals in the week leading up to the game. Double-psych: one of the rats is real.

Cowboys' record: Head: 4-1, Heart: 5-0

Week 6, Oct. 18: Cowboys vs. BYE

Alex: Word on the street is Bobby is already planning a team getaway to Guatemala. Keith Brooking is not invited.

Chris: Time for progress to come to a halt. You won't see it yet, but it's coming.

Week 7, Oct. 25: Cowboys vs. Falcons

Alex: The Cowboys will get caught by suprise here. I'm not sure anyone really knows just how good Matt Ryan is. First loss of the season, but not a disaster. 5-1 is still quite respectable. Also, Keith Brooking returns to his hometown. Bobby might regret seeing all Keith's homeboys a week after not taking him on the bye-week trip.

Cowboys' record: Head: 5-1, Heart: 6-0

Chris: Laziness and apathy, unless corrected in the off-season, bite the Cowboys in the tail this week. The Falcons keep it close but the Cowboys escape. You think everything is okay, Romo defends the game as "a win is a win," but it's as hollow as the win over the Bengals last year.

Cowboys' record: Head: 5-1, Heart: 6-0

Week 8, Nov. 1: Cowboys vs. Seahawks

Alex: Another puffball of a game. Cowboys hand the Seahawks their asses.

Cowboys' record: Head: 6-1, Heart: 7-0

Chris: Cowboys should win this game. They're better on paper, they're better on the field, and nine times out of ten, they win this game—but they end up losing the game because of stupid mistakes.

Cowboys' record: Head: 5-2, Heart: 6-1

Week 9, Nov. 8: Cowboys @ Eagles

Alex: The Cowboys will be amped up and ready to take revenge on a Philly team that just absolutely embarrassed them in the season finale the previous season. However, it seems every time the Cowboys have something to prove against the Iggles, they come up short. BIG. And it'll happen again.

Cowboys' record: Head: 6-2, Heart: 8-0. This could be the beginning of a collapse....

Chris: I have no faith in a win at all. Ugly loss because of mistakes left uncorrected in the Atlanta and Seattle games. Media begins to call for Wade's head.

Cowboys' record: Head: 5-3, Heart: 6-2

Be sure to check back in a few days for part 3!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Looking Forward to the 2009 Season

Welcome back, all. It's been awhile since our last post, and a lot has happened since then—most recently the news of John Madden retiring, along with the sudden and meteoric fall of Frank Caliendo's career. With the draft a week away, Chris and I will go through the newly released Dallas Cowboys week by week schedule and make ridiculously early game predictions.

Week 1, Sept. 13: Cowboys @ Buccaneers

This will be an interesting opening game, to say the least. If the Cowboys lose here, the media attack begins IMMEDIATELY, and doesn't let up. Wade Phillips will be on the chopping block, Romo will continue to be questioned, Jessica's head will be called for, and Bobby will be wondering where he fits in to all of this. To make things more difficult, the Bucs have a new head coach, an uncertain situation at starting quarterback, and a brand new dangerous TE in Kellen Winslow II, or as most people would call him, "Junior." All that said, however, I think the Cowboys not only win, but absolutely spank the Bucs in a new season without their fiery head coach in Jon Gruden and fiery quarterback in Jeff Garcia.

Cowboys' record thus far: Head: 1-0, Heart: 1-0.

Chris: The Cowboys begin the season at noon, on the road, in Tampa. If this game were any later in the season, I would write this off as an easy loss—lack of interest, not a prime-time game, etc. However, since the Cowboys ended the 2008 season in terrible fashion, I expect the team to show up to play hard in the season opener. Plus, it's too early for them to take it easy.

Cowboys' record thus far: Head: 1-0, Heart: 1-0

Week 2, Sept. 20: Cowboys vs. Giants

Alex: Opening of the new stadium this week, and we're bringing in the Giants. This rivalry is quickly becoming one of the biggest in the NFL, and if the Cowboys lose this game, the media will be breathing down their necks like a pimply-faced creep sitting behind you on the bus when you're wearing that cute top that's maybe just a little too low-cut. If the Cowboys had lost the previous week, expect Wade to be fired/demoted by week 4. However, with the Giants missing 2 KEY parts of their offense last year in Plaxico Burress and Derrick Ward, a 1,000 yard rusher who went to the Bucs that everyone seems to forget about, I think the Cowboys offense will be too strong for the Giants to match, assuming Roy Williams is as-advertised.

Cowboys' record: Head: 2-0, Heart: 2-0

Chris: Finally! Prime-time! Lights! TV! Jerryworld! This has all the makings of a Cowboys-choke—but again, it's not December, so you can disregard it. I expect the Giants to make things scary and keep it close, but somehow the Cowboys pull out a close one. Bobby celebrates by throwing a sick rager @ UT-Arlington. Also invited: Flower Mound Marcus kids, since their football jerseys are Ohio State copies. Not invited: UT-Dallas.

Cowboys' record: Head 2-0, Heart 2-0

Week 3, Sept. 28: Cowboys vs. Panthers

Alex: Jake Delhomme is trash, and we lead the all-time regular season series 7-1. Win.

Cowboys' record: Head: 3-0, Heart: 3-0

Chris: 7-1? Wow. I'd trade all of those regular season wins for that playoff loss to 2nd year Carolina on the way to Super Bowl XXXI. Anyway, unless the Cowboys have learned how to stop the run, I smell a Monday Night Loss. Something tells me they'll fix the problem. Well, my heart tells me they'll fix the problem. My head tells me they'll forget.

Cowboys' record: Head: 2-1, Heart: 3-0

Week 4, Oct. 4: Cowboys @ Broncos

Alex: One of the more intriguing match-ups this week, with Kyle Orton the new heir apparent in Denver, and a totally revamped offense and defense, it will be interesting to see what Cowboys team shows up. To this point in the season, the Cowboys are 3-0, and should continue that run against a team that is still trying to find its identity under an immature head coach and what can only be described as a Swiss cheese defense. Interesting side-note: With Mike Shanahan gone, do the Broncos have an unnamed 1,000 yard rusher this season?

Cowboys' record: Head: 4-0, Heart: 4-0

Chris: Win. Last year pre-Draft, teams playing the Falcons were excited. Of course, they improved greatly with the addition Matt Ryan. I'll treat the Broncos the same way; pre-Draft, WIN. Post-Draft? Maybe they added a great rookie?...Win. Too early in the season.

Cowboys' record: Head: 3-1, Heart: 4-0

Be sure to check back in a few days for part 2!