Wednesday, January 21, 2009


: The Arizona Cardinals are a Super Bowl team. What the hell is going on? BTW, I think it's worth pointing out that 6 of their 9 wins in the regular season were division wins. So they were 3-7 against all other opponents.

Chris: I don't know, but it kind of cheapens the Super Bowl. I say this as a sports-elitist, because I feel only a few franchises should be dominant. Parity doesn't help. And as much as I don't want Pittsburgh getting ring #6, I don't think the Cardinals can win.

Alex: Don't get me wrong, here. I'm rooting for the Cardinals. They've been Cowboys fans over there for so long. I mean, I can only return the favor.

Chris: Hahaha, Cowboys jerseys might be the third most popular jersey in Tampa that night. Maybe even second.

Alex: So is this a Cowboys Super Bowl win, indirectly, if Arizona wins?

Chris: It should be a ghost win.

Alex: BTW, hindsight: when Arizona beat us and stole all the Farve magic*, they apparently kept it.

*It is held to be true on this blog that Favre's talent and abilities were passed onto successor Romo.

Chris: They just waited until the playoffs to use it?

Alex: Yeah. Smart on their part. Stockpiling Favre magic in a shitty conference. A very intelligent move.

Chris: I would have cashed it in Week 12. That will be interesting to track—the holder of the Favre magic.

Alex: Well, doesn't it reset every year? And if Favre doesn't play, Romo is the heir apparent, yes?

Chris: Ah, it could. I didn't know if that was the case, or if the magic was passed on like a WWE championship belt.

Alex: We might want to look at it both ways. Schrodinger's cat sort of philosophy.

Alex: I know what I want to start with, and that is WHY in God's name do people want TO gone?

Chris: Because they think TO is the only poison in the locker room. And if you remove TO, instantly you gain chemistry and cooperation.

Alex: ESPN Propaganda? I suddenly saw Boomer's face in yellow outline in front of a red flag with hammer and sickle.

Chris: I'm sure. Leaflets dropped from the heavens.

Chris: Now you only take a $60,000 hit in the wallet if you get rid of TO, but unfortunately, another team could pick him up. Give me Washington, partly due to Daniel Snyder's Jerry-Jones-Obsession and partly because TO loves moving to rivals.

Alex: Yeah, Daniel Snyder really scared me earlier this season with his Jerry-Jones-Spending on display. But then Zorn turned out to be an afterthought.

Chris: If Zorn has any control in Washington, I give him a few months with TO before it all disappears.

Alex: He's too nice. "I NEED THE BALL, ZORN!" "Ok, ok, sure. Great. Smile TO, here's your ball!"

Chris: Actually, I wonder if that kind of yes-man situation is the best environment for TO. Zorn aims to please. TO wants the ball.

Alex: I don't know. Enablers...

Alex: That reminds me. Brian Stewart has been fired by the second nicest guy in football, Wade Phillips. And... God... I'm scared Campo might get the DC job.

Chris: No way.

Alex: He's on staff. Done it before. And won a SB with it.

Chris: Well, did we have a salty defense because of Campo, or in spite of Campo?

Alex: I don't know. When he was HC we always had a good defense. I just don't know. Campo scares me.

Chris: He's giving pep talks at Coppell High. So. Take that for what it's worth.

Alex: My last Cowboys fear for now. Are you ready? WHY in all of God's great glory is Brad Johnson not in street clothes yet?

Chris: Oh wow. I forgot about him. Maybe we'll take a hot young QB in the first round. I mean, we still have that pick, right?

(editor's note: Psych. We don't.)

Alex: ... A possible second Roy Williams blunder.

Chris: Should Dallas just avoid that name forever?

Alex: It's looking that way. I really hope he turns it on next year. I don't want another potential-filled Raghib Ismail-style bust. I mean, if he's gonna flame out, can he at least pull a Hambrick and say he's better then Jerry Rice?

Chris: It's not quite Joey Galloway, is it?

Alex: No. Joey played well. Just got injured a lot.

Chris: I mean in terms of losing draft picks.

Alex: I fear this is might even be the REVERSE Herschel. If Detroit builds a dynasty I'm gonna be so pissed. Think about it: it's the same thing we did in the middle of a 1-15, or in their case 0-16, season. Trade the best player for a bunch of picks.

Chris: We didn't give them seven picks in exchange for Lunchables, though.

Alex: Well, no. But it could be a start.

Chris: Wait, I see where you're going now.

Alex: It's eerily similar.

Chris: So is that why we'll trade DeMarcus Ware next year? Reverse reverse Herschell?

Alex: Just to cancel out the chi. We'll see. It all depends on if Roy Williams goes Shante Carver on us.

Chris: Eeesh, I can only hope, for jokes' sake.

Alex: I don't know, C-bass. Can we handle a BC and TWO Roys all at once? We might overload.

Chris: We managed with Shante, Kavika, Bjornson, LaFleur, and the Hambrick boys. I don't know the overlap though.

Alex: I think it always came in pairs. Kavika and Shante. Then LaFluer and Bjornson. Then the Hambrick Bros. Now BC and...?

Chris: The Roy Williams Voltron?

Alex: One of them has to be a success next year or all hell breaks loose.

Super Fantastic (click for larger view)

L-R, top to bottom:
Kavika Pittman blocked by the Rams (before they were good);
Dexter Coakley, Pittman, Randall Godfrey, Herman Smith at practice;
Shante Carver (L) in action with the Maniax of the XFL;
Eric Bjornson on the run;
David LaFleur, stopped, at his highest potential energy. Once he moves, any potential is gone;
the Hambrick brothers in college at South Carolina.


Anonymous said...

Who ever you guys are really need to know your facts when talking about me. Why am I considered a bust? I played although not as long as i may have wanted to. However I did. My first 2yrs in dallas I played behind two great players in Tony Tolbert, and Charles. Was I suppose to move them from the starting position? That was not going to happen. When charles started having problem with his back the year we won in 95. Who played? You bloggers act like you played, but the fact is most of you have no idea what it takes to play football in the pros. It's a mans game thats played with heart and mental toughness that I'm pretty sure ya'll lack. If you believe I suck as much you people say. all 260 pounds of me should have got my ass kicked whenever I stepped on the field. That never happend. If it did why would I be playing for one of the best D's in the NFL. Now if your saying I sucked because of dumb decisions I made, I agree with all ya'll cowboy fans. I may not have been A super star, but I did play at a high level, and to be totally honest my last year there I think I was close to becoming that guy. Look at the stats that year. As a team we sucked. Campo had us playing all that zone blitz crap (which was the sexy D at that time) where I'm dropping into coverage. How could I sack the Qb doing that. Did I waste my playing carrer being stupid yes, but I was far from be a guy who was a bust. How can a bust, when suppended for four games come right in and start in the fifth week. Come on Dudes. Put down your News paper and say things that YOU Know. stop being a follower going with whatothers say. You want to know why Jerry moved up in the first round to get me? Because he saw my potential(the raiders,and san fransico next on the clock Al was ready I was on the phone with him) , I let Jerry as well as Myself down off the field, not on it and that I am ashamed of. Prove me wrong Bloggers.

Chris said...

If this is really you, Shante, we would love to speak with you and get your opinion on things.

Leave another post with some form of contact and we'll get in touch with you. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Heres my post....YOU ARE A BUST ON AND OFF THE FIELD......period.. thanks for sleeping with my wife in 2015 and destroying my family with 4 kids. enjoy the handbasket ride!

Anonymous said...

Life is a "mans game", and based on the previous post, you have no idea what a "mans" game is.