Sunday, November 9, 2008

Bobby Watch, Super-ultra bye-week Bust Watch special: Early Games

This week, with the bye week and Cabo looming over the Dallas area, Alex and Chris will select another bust to track, and this week they selected JaMarcus Russell. However, this being the Early Game special, places will be mentioned.

11:56, College Station, Tx - A pissed off blogger just realized that because he wanted to watch JaMarcus fail, doesn't mean everyone else does. With the game only being shown in presumable Oakland and Carolina, this might slowly turn into a general bust watch, but our focus will remain on JaMarcus. Everyone, be thankful for the gametracker.

12:05, Houston, Tx - As we begin our tour around the league, Sage Rosenfels, our favorite goat, just went 3 and out in his 1st series against the Ravens. And eye will be kept on the situation there.

12:11, - Checking in on Gametracker, the Lions have decided to start Daunte Culpepper. To date, 0 for 2, 1 int. This is absolutely delectable.

12:09, Minnesota - Brad Childress is 0-5 versus the Packers, our opinion is he doesn't want to upset the people that make cheese for his wonderfully pretentious wine collection.

12:14, Miami - Ted Ginn just scored on a 39 yard TD from Chad Pennington. Ginn started his career by lobbying for a flop-fan-site, but when he realized it wasn't coming because no one cared about the Dolphins, he decided to play his way onto a better team, only to flop there.

12:18, Chicago - It would be irresponsible of me not to mention the only bust to lead his team to a Superbowl. Apparently this week we have Sexy Rexy, instead of The Real Rex Grossman, he's 6 of 9, for 51 yards and a TD on Chicago's opening drive against the undefeated Titans. I can't imagine it'll be long before he actually starts thinking about all the pressure of losing a superbowl. Being the guy drafted in Chicago. All the fans counting on him. "Why do I suck so much? Ok, just don't throw the interception. Incompletions are a good thing. OH SHIT. Ok, just make the tackle. Make the tackle....crap...well at least I threw a Touchdown." It's coming.

12:28, Detroit - Well, I guess that coach in Detroit does know something. Now, nothing is set in stone yet, but now, Daunte Culpepper is 2 of 4 for 78 yards and an INT, but he's got Detroit at the 5 yard line. I don't know that they've been there all season. Maybe Marinelli called Denny Green and the conversation went, "Do you have a big, fast receiver with great hands?" "Yes" "Ok, here's what you do, just throw the ball straight up in the air, and hope he comes down with it. Hey, we went 15-1 in Minnesota with it. Trust me. It'll work"

12:32, Detroit - WOW I wish I had the Detroit game. Apparently Daunte got injured. Drew "He'll just get embarassed out there" Stanton, is now 1 of 1 for 1 td. Fancy that.

12:34, Miami - This must be extra special BUST PERFORMING weekend. Ricky "Rasta" Williams just went 51 yards for a touchdown. It's rumored Tony Sparano was overhead telling Ricky to "Pretend the Goalline is the Mexican border."

12:37, Chicago - Rex threw his first INT of the day. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.

12:38, Houston - First quarter for Sage - No meltdowns yet, 5 of 9 for 54 and 1 INT. It's still a close game at 7-0 Baltimore, but Sage-goat better be careful, because he's chained up, and biologically-engineered T-Rex is about to snatch him up, and throw his remains onto a car of first time tourists/archaeologists.

12:47, College Station - Those Citizen Eco-Drive Watch commercials with Eli Manning used to be a lot more fun before he won a superbowl and was a general goat. Gah. How things change.

12:53, Minnesota - Aaron Rodgers just cost his team 2 points with an illegal forward pass/illegal batter fumble, or something along those lines. Either way, he looked like a child being pushed around by a bully. Just had to find something to get attention away from him, when it just draws it right back.

1:00, New Jersey-ish - Favre magic has officially been regained by Favre, with the Jets leading STL 24-0. It's all up to Romo for the rest of the season.

1:05, Miami - It just makes a man smile when an egocentric former running back goes to another team with a larger contract and does the same thing he did in his first city. Julius Jones, 6 rushes, 12 yards, long of 5. I just love it.

1:12, Detroit - So maybe Daunte Culpepper is the answer in Detroit. He's back on the field, and he drove them right down the field for at least a FG. 5/9 100 yards and an INT. In detroit that HOF caliber.

1:14, Detroit - Of course, it is still Detroit. The FG is blocked. Man, I feel bad for those fans.

1:33, Minnesota - While taking my almost-halftime Nacho-break, I've been watchin probably the strangest last 2 minutes of a half I've ever seen. 4 possesion changes I think? A saftey, an INT, and now, the packers, with 16 seconds left, are in position at least for a FG. It's been an interesting game.

Halftime BUST UPDATE: Culpepper, 5 of 9 for 104 and an INT, Rosenfels 12 of 19 for 161 and an INT, Ricky Williams 8 rushes, 97 yards and a WILDCAT td, Julius Jones 7 rushes for 15 yards (man does that make me feel good). So much for a regular week in football. Maybe I just expect too little from these guys. Also, at half, the jets are up 40 to 0 over STL. Good night. And to thank I was thisclose to picking STL this week. Whew.

1:44, Detroit - It just came to my attention the Lions are wearing what may be the prettiest throwbacks in the league. I love them. It's too bad they're such a shitty team.

1:53, Detroit - Ouch, Jerry Porter, big name free agent from Oakland, just caught his 5th pass for the Jaguars, and his first for a touchdown. His name is entered as worst free agent pickup of the year award.

1:55, Chicago - Since we last reported on Rex, he's floundered. 10 of 20 for 54 yards, 1 td and 1 INT, chances are those 10 incompletions are actually just intereceptions that the Titans dropped because they feel bad for him. Poor Rex.

2:00, Houston - Sage just threw his second INT straight to Ray Lewis. I didn't see a white shirt in the area. My bet is Ray Ray told Sage he knows where he lives, and has gotten away from murder before.

2:02, Minnesota - And MY GOODNESS does Aaron Rodgers look like a flop against this Minnesota team. A lot of this is probably due to poor offensive line play, but, he's the QB after Brett Favre, so double the pressure, and double the culpablilty put on by the fans. "Fire him now, why didn't we say Daunte?" says Wisconsin.

2:10, Houston - I just don't know what to think about this Sage Rosenfels. I'm beginning to believe he's one of those quarterbacks that just has to keep both teams close at all times. He just Threw a real pretty pass to Kevin Walter for a long TD. This must be maddening for Houston fans.

2:13, Detroit - How bad are the Lions? They've let one of the worst free agent pickups score on them in Joey Porter, and now, to keep things fair, Troy Williamson just got in. Wow. One of these days Detroit has to field a competitive team right? I mean, Barry Sanders made them competitive, but where those competitive teams? Doubtful.

*for the record, that was Troy Williamson's 4th reception on the year, 1st td.*

2:16, Minnesota - As Gus Frerotte throws his 3rd INT of the day, a pick 6, I'm starting to wonder if Tarvaris Jackson is better. Also, what were the Cowboys thinking picking up Brad Johnson was benched by Minnesota in favor of Tarvaris? Gah, that's the epitome of suck.

2:19, Miami - Ricky Williams now has his first 100 yard game after giving up the reefer. Unsure of how to celebrate, Ricky is seen on the sidelines ripping up the turf and rolling a fat one.

2:21, Detroit - Drew Stanton back in as QB, his stat line is still one for one, but he was sacked twice on that series. 3 and an embarassing out. Marinelli is seen eyeing the press box and glaring at the Fords saying "I told you so."

2:34, Detroit - The Fords placed a phone call down to Marinelli to stick their collective tongue out as him, as Drew Stanton is now 4 of 5 for 76 yards, leading his team on a TD drive. Detroit can't even predict when they're going to suck correctly. Wow.

2:47, Detroit - Now, I can't actually SEE the game, so I'm just basing this off of the box-score on, but it seems if Drew Stanton could get any kind of protection for the Detroit line, that he'd be a decent choice at QB. Hasn't made any bad decisions thus far. Again, I haven't seen anything, but that's the way it appears. So much for "embarassing" himself, huh, Rod?

2:50, Minnesota - Adrian Peterson is offically the GOAT of the week. 4th and a long 1, Brad Childress wants to punt, and Adrian SCREAMS to go for it. They challenge the previous spot, don't win, and then Adrian fumbles when he's got room to run, and gives the ball away to the Packers in Minnesota territory. That could be the game.

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