Friday, October 3, 2008

Week 5 in the NFL

Every Friday, Alex and Chris pick the weekend's NFL games and offer insight on their differences.

Alex: First difference, you picked Houston over Indy, and I picked Indy. Houston is the home team, however, starting their first of 4 straight home games on account of Ike. Why Houston?

Chris: I think Houston is starting to come together after playing tough competition on the road (Pittsburgh, Tennessee), and almost getting away with one at Jacksonville. I don't think Indianapolis is the same Colts team of the decade + they've been too inconsistent.

Alex: At the same time, they're bound to pull it together sometime. I realize Houston has the emotion on their side with their own mini-Katrina. But, at the same time, they're still playing without star corner Dunta Robinson. And our good pal Jacques Reeves is starting—

Chris: —Jacques "Big time money" Reeves

Alex: —that alone leads me to pick Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison et. al. against the Texans defense. Indy 31, Houston 28.

Chris: Houston 24, Indy 20.

Alex: Moving on... our second difference, you have Philly at home over Washington, and I disagree. Subquestion: Would Barbie Carpenter have made a difference in the outcome of last weeks game, had he played?

Chris: I give Philly some homefield advantage and I think as a team, they're stronger and have slightly more experience than the Redskins. I think Washington deserved their win over Dallas last week— but the whole week, this young team has been told they're giant killers and among the league's best. I think last week may have been their Super Bowl (for the time being), and this week they get a let-down. Also, DeSean Jackson negates a sure touchdown by Deion-highstepping, off-balance, out of bounds at the 2 by mistake.

Chris: I think Barbie is an unknown talent at the RB spot, plus Dallas hasn't used him enough (or at all) in a double reverse situation. He's played big time football before. He might be able to surprise a few folks.

Alex: Haha, that long blonde hair works as a major distraction. For me, I think Philly is automatically in the bottom of the division when they are playing without Brian Westbrook, and to my knowledge, he's not going to play. The Redskins don't have a single position of greatness, but every position is solid. And that's enough here. And I absolutely give the edge to Jason Campbell over Kyle Orton, who they lost to last week.

Alex: As for Barbie, I think we're missing potential as a run stopping safety. He makes sure tackles, like Roy used to, and with Keith "Can't Kill Me" Davis not forced to start, it's something to dry.

Chris: I contend Philadelphia is a rougher crowd than Irving. Especially drunk, angry Philly.

: And you know, I say if more than 3 fans get arrested in Philly on Sunday, you're right, Philly wins.

: Total number of zip-lock bags filled with urine hurled at Washington fans? I say 4.

Alex: I think it's a direct relationship to the score— 1 bag of urine for every 3 points.

: [laughs]

: Plus 1 aimed at the kicker.

: I hope Washington gets to wear the red jerseys, for their own sake.

: So, final predictions for this game?

: 27-24, Philly.

: I say Washington, 10 bags of Urine, Philly 28.

: Then give me Philly 27, Washington, 8 bags of urine.

Alex: So this week, our final disagreement is on the The Pittsburgh Ketchups versus the Jacksonville Mindless Shooting Victims.

: Too soon.

: You went for tomato-y goodness, and I erred on the side of emotion.

: I think Roethlisberger and the offense leave plenty to be desired, but they'll slowly start to get it, and their defense should put them in a position to win against the NFL's 23rd best offense. But I'll award Jacksonville a ten-point bonus if Jack Del Rio wears a suit-- his apparel might mean the difference.

: My vote for Jacksonville rides on 3 things:
1) I love Maurice Jone-Drew.
2) Richard Collier, this team is high on emotion.
3) The suit.

Alex: Subquestion 2: Roethlis-rating this week?

: I'll say Roethlis-smoked turkey. Won't kill you, but it's not Filet Mignon.

: I think I'm going to say Roethli-Carne Asada— tasty on the first bite, but at the end, it comes out in a bad way.

: Oh, dear. Heinz 18, Jacksonville 14

: I think low scoring this week, Jacksonville 12, Pittsburgers, 6.

Alex: Alright, so to sum up the rest, we agreed on:
Tennessee over Baltimore
Carolina over KC
Chicago over the Millens
Green Bay over Atlanta
San Diego over Bill Parcells
NYG over Seattle
Denver over Tampa Bay,
Arizona in an upset over the Perennial 2nd placers
Dallas over the Bengals
New England over San Francisco
and New Orleans over Adrian Peterson.

Chris: Minnesota loses the mental edge when they travel on a sex-gambling riverboat down the Mighty Mississipp' to New Orleans.

: And thank God we don't have a sex boat, I don't even want to think about Marco Rivera and Bobby Carpenter going down the Mississippi. It's like a horrible Lewis and Clark.

Season records to this week
Alex: 36-24
Chris: 38-22

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